Mandate

I love a certain song by Misty Edwards.  I'm going to try and remember it to the best of my ability. I don't want to take the time to look it up just now while this is on my heart.  But the words are something like: "It's the inside outside upside down kingdom where you die to live and you lose to gain" I was pondering the word mandate just now-a word that I really started hearing a few days ago pertaining to a personal situation in my life.  I looked up the word and my favorite definition, the one I think applies to me is, "an order from a higher court or official to a lower one".  See, I feel that God has given me a mandate to stay home and pursue being a homemaker.  So if God has given this mandate to me, then He will be faithful to meet our needs, especially through finances.  It would make sense to go to work and earn extra money for the surgery that we are praying for. It would make sense for me to go back to work now that we are being threatened with court and possible child support.  But my God doesn't always work in what makes sense to us. If He has given me this mandate, He will provide for my needs.  And if I try to use what makes sense then I will miss the blessing He has for me and I think probably we still wouldn't have the finances needed as well.  God plus me is majority.  I would hate to be the person who goes against God's mandate. Just sit back and watch my God work in this situation.  I believe in miracles!

A Day of Rest

Bill and I put in place a day of rest a few years ago now,just one problem....it's on Sunday.  At the time we established Sunday as a day of rest we were both working M-F.  Sat. was our day to get stuff done around the house and take care of any business that we couldn't do during the week.  So, Sunday it was; however, we volunteer at church on Sundays, so does that count?  My husband says working with the kids is fun, not work.  I say, it is fun and work! It bothered me, but I didn't really feel like I had any other options.  I gave it to God and said, "show me".  Well, now that I am home during the week-I have more options.  I chose Monday as my day of rest.  The same Monday that never bothered me before to take it easy and not worry about accomplishing much is now the Monday that is finding all sorts of stuff that needs to be done.  Wow-who knew resting would be such a task. You'd think out of all the commandments this one would be in the bag-no problem. I guess I have some things to figure out like: What's considered work? What should one do when they are resting? Seriously, so far, having a day of rest feels like work-lol.  I will conquer this. I will.  I just need to practice resting so I can get better at it.

Bubbly

This song is the ringtone for Mr. Barnett a.k.a Billy Boy when he calls me.  I picked it because this is how I feel about him-all bubbly inside.  I love you Billy Boy!

V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

What matters to me matters to Him

One of my favorite heroes of faith is Bill Johnson.  I often hear him say, "what matters to you matters to God".  I like that.  I like that God cares about every aspect of my life-even the tiny stuff.  He's not too busy to care about what I care about.  My husband and I wanted to paint our house green.  We went to the paint store and picked out a green and then a golden trim color.  It was a great thing that the guy at the counter suggested we only buy small tester paint cans just in the case we didn't like it.  Because we sure did take them home, test them, and absolutely not like them.  So on the way back to the paint store I was thinking about those words-what matters to me matters to Him.  I asked my husband if we could pray that God would help us find the perfect paint, of course he said yes, so we prayed together.  Our second time home we put on the paint that we felt sure was right this time-and it was!  We love the green-it is absolutely perfect.  The trim color was a little more yellow than I had wanted, but day by day I am getting used to it and I really like it too.  Thank You God for caring about what matters to me.

You'll have to ignore the blue tape for now.  We are not quite finished.  My husband says we can get a red door too! I have always wanted a red door.  We are thinking cranberry red would be a great addition of color.

Hated

It's no fun to be hated.  Jesus did warn that since He was hated, we would be hated too.  So, I have been dealing with a person who has hated me for almost seven years now. I used to feel powerless and guilty because of the many, many accusations that this person threw at me and my husband.  Day in and day out finding every fault and magnifying it to no end.  I went through stress, anger, fear, anxiety...until I realized no matter how unjust this person chooses to be, it would be better for me to crawl on my knees to her house and ask for forgiveness for anything on my part and learn at all cost to love her than to continue living in the yuckiness that comes with fear and unforgiveness.  So, I fought hard for love and forgiveness for this woman to come into my heart. And God, who is ever faithful, delivered me and brought His love and peace.  I am learnig to trust HIM-not just believe that He can take care of the situation, but that HE will take care of it because He loves me.  He is a good God.  He will protect me.  I know I do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but some people allow themselves to be vessels for the enemey to work through.  This person is knowingly trying to stand in the way of my happiness and my dreams because she is miserable.  But little does she know, my happiness is not dependant on her or my surroundings.  It's no fun to be hated, but if you must hate me, you must.  But as for me, I don't hate you back. I trust Christ and He is trustworthy. No weapon formed against me shall prosper.  I will be happy and I will see my dreams come to pass. 

A new passion for homemaking

I came across a new website I saw on my friend's facebook page.  The website is called passionatehomemaking.  Lindsay Edmonds is the creator.  Lindsay shares many, many different insights into her journey as a homemaker. I was so excited to find this website because so much of it is my heart's cry as well. I'm pretty sure it came as a result of my heartfelt cries to God for help in this area.  Here's my story:

Over the last two years I have changed the eating habits in our home.  I really felt that God laid it on my heart to take better care of my body.  I read a book called, The Seven Pillars of Health by Dr. Don Colbert.  I really enjoyed the book, although it was a lot of information to swallow.  Dr. Colbert warns in his book not to get overwhelmed and to take things slow.  I should have listened to his advice, but it was a library book so I had to read it quickly.  I even checked it out 2 or 3 times!  At first, I was very excited about my new found knowledge.  I attacked my kitchen and threw out all things high-fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated, and bleached!!! I was on a roll, but slowly, I became a little confused and overwhelmed.  There's so much to know about living a natural lifestyle. 

One day I was walking down the grocery aisle and I felt like crying as so many different emotions were inside of me.  I wanted so badly to give my family the best care and nutrition possible, but we were limited by finances, resources, and my lack of knowledge.  I felt so helpless.  I couldn't ignore the knowledge I had gained.  Learning all the harmful things that we put in our bodies day to day could never be erased; however, I didn't know what to do with it.  I didn't know what to do when we ate with other people who did not share our new lifestyle.  At first, I thought , well, we won't make it a big deal around other people.  But what if we were eating with other people a couple times a week, then what? It would totally get us off track and it seemed pointless to continue to eat healthy only some of the time.  Also, it was so time consuming! I had to learn to plan ahead, stay on budget, and research ingredients.  I felt stressed out as I was already working 30 hours at another job with almost an hour commute on the way home.  I barely made it home to cook dinner.  Some days I would have to decide whether to clean the house or make a healthy meal.  I found myself frustrated that I ever found out about toxic foods.  I couldn't bare to give my family freezer food or packaged dinners.  I was getting little colds and infections often due to stress.  I thought to myself how stress was just as harmful or maybe even more so than unhealthy foods.  I needed help.

My problem wasn't our finances, it wasn't the knowledge or lack thereof, it wasn't resources.  My problem was trying to do things all on my own. I began to cry out to God, finally (duh).  I really felt that my place was not out in the workforce, but at home taking care of my family and my home. I know this is what God has for me.  Financially it doesn' make sense right now, but I trust God.  I can breathe now and I know the Holy Spirit will help me to be the wife and mother I was created to be.  The Holy Spirit is here on Earth to guide us and comfort us, and I am learning to ask Him everything from what stores to shop at and what products to buy.  I can't find everything out at once, but I can learn a little at a time. There will be compromises here and there-especially while I'm still learning. One day I will be the woman  I was created to be, but it will take a lifetime of figuring it out.

Nestingbug

So, my husband Bill and I are making plans to pave the way to have babies.  We are planning for Bill to have a vasectomy reversal in January (my 30th b-day).  I am very excted and feel full of hope that this is what God has for us in our next season.  I'm still not quite sure how all the pieces are going to fit together, but I can see the end in sight.  I have noticed for about two weeks now this amazing feeling inside of me wanting to cook and clean like I have never wanted to before.  My husband and I primed the outside of the house a few weekends ago on a Saturday and I enjoyed it.  I like to cuddle, or go do adventurous things on Saturdays while my husband likes to work around the house.  This difference of opionion has brewed many disagreements in the past, but not this time.  I want my home in order in every way.  I know my babies are coming-I just know!